First Day Alone

I would count today as a huge success. As you know, I was extremely nervous to have both kids by myself since Matt went back to work today. I spent some time beforehand creating a schedule that I knew I could stick to, and could change if necessary. I did end up making some changes, but overall it worked out awesome. At the end of the day, the house was clean, Bri had eaten at least two good meals and taken a three hour nap and both kids were happy. I changed clothing three times and was still covered in baby spit up, with no sign of makeup anywhere, but Matt still looked happy to see me when he walked through the door.

Today was also my first day back on plan with Weight Watchers online. I put on a total of 47 pounds during my pregnancy and am super eager to take it off. I have 21 pounds left before reaching my pre-preg weight and an additional 28 pounds before I am at goal. It upset me a little to see that after working so hard on WW last year, I gained every pound back that I had lost. However, the silver lining is that if I lost it once before, I can do it again.. and I KNOW that Weight Watchers works! Don't worry, I won't be cluttering up this journal with my dieting and lifestyle antics.

I know some days will be harder than others with the kids, but this is the first time where I have really thought "I can do this... long term". Everything will be alright.

Lovies,
Catherine

2 Week Update

Ben is 15 days old and doing wonderful. The last two weeks we have been fortunate enough to spend together, getting used to our cool new little family unit. Brianna had a few hard days adjusting to Ben being around, and still has tough days, but is overall adjusting very well. I am so proud of the beautiful, loving person she is becoming. She is very good with her little brother. She gives him lots of kisses and backrubs and puts his pacifier back in his mouth when he cries. She is very concerned when he seems upset and says "Ben" over and over unil I attend to him.

Matt goes back to work tomorrow. I will miss his company greatly.  He has been such an amazing help with cooking and cleaning and taking care of Bri the majority of the time when I have been with Ben. He also spent the last week making sure that I had a very special birthday.

Although 26 does not feel any different than 25, I had a great time celebrating my birthday. On the 10th, Matt took me to Applebees for a Perfect Margarita (my first drink in almost a year!) and then to Red Lobster for coconut shrimp. We laughed and talked and enjoyed our time together as if it was one of our first dates! Today we had family over and Matt made me a carrot cake, my favorite! Definitely one of the best birthdays I have had in a long time. :)

Ben's Birth Story

Welcome Benjamin Gregory!

Ben a few minutes after birth

Our Story Begins
40 weeks six days, 6/29/12 Shirley arrived at our house and had dinner with us around 5pm. I was not overly friendly, but I was very anxious about the events that were to happen that night. We finished dinner and left. I was very happy that Bri gave me a kiss and a hug when I left. I couldn't stop thinking about the fact that this would be the last time I would see my baby girl as an only child. I had to leave immediately so she wouldn't see me cry, and I cried hard. Matt took my hand and reminded me that we are in this together, which made me feel mildly better. 

Cervadil
We arrived at Maple Grove Hospital Labor & Delivery ward at 7:30pm for Cervadil. I needed Cervadil, which is a cervix-ripening treatment because at my last doctors appointment I had not progressed  They told us that they had no record of us scheduled, but admitted me anyway since they were not busy. They also called my doctor to confirm that I was in fact scheduled. I was assigned to room  2238 which was HUGE and attached to a bathroom that was at least half the size of the room itself with a shower, massive walk-in jacuzzi tub and a separate toilet stall. I put on the gown and the nurse checked me. She said I was dilated to at least 2 3/4 cm. Then she said that she would call my doctor for additional instructions and would return. A nurse came in and poked me twice to get an IV in, which was not fun at all... then we waited and waited and waited.. Finally around 10:30pm the nurse returned and informed us that I was now too far dilated for Cervadil to be effective and she was sending me home.

Sent Home
We were mildly bummed about being sent home, but since I was still a few hours short of 41 weeks, they couldn't simply continue with the induction at that time. We packed up, left, stopped at the gas station for a super healthy dinner of donuts, chips, cheese puffs, an egg salad sandwiches and soda, and went home. I am not at all upset about this because we both ended up getting a decent nights sleep. Shirley decided to stay overnight so that it would be easier on Bri. We came home when she was already asleep and would leave the house in the morning before she woke up. As badly as I wanted to see her, I knew that it was for the best.

Deja Vu- Back to the Hospital
The next morning I woke up at 5am. I texted with my mom until 6:00am when I called L&D as instructed. They advised us that they had room for us and to come back around 7:30. We packed up again, said goodbye to Shirley, grabbed some breakfast at Panera (something I was VERY happy I did in hindsight) and drove to the hospital. Everything went smoothly this time. I was checked in by 7:30am, and the nurse checked me. Somehow I had progressed to 4 cm on my own overnight (with no contractions that I remember).

Breaking My Water
By 9am the doctor came in and broke my water. This was a different experience from what I remember with Bri. It was done the same way, with a hook, but he made such a small hole that it only leaked a little bit at first and slowly widened over the next several hours. We even got up and walked around the hospital a bit until about 11:30am, hoping this would help the process along.

Pitocin
At this point I was left alone for a few hours to see if the broken water would cause consistent contractions. Unfortunately, although the contractions did increase, they were not consistent or strong. Once it was clear that my body was still not going to go into active labor on it's own, the doctor decided to start me on a Pitocin drip. When they first hooked me up, not much happened. I was at 5cm at this point, but nothing else was really happening. The nurse upped the dose twice over the next several hours and although my contractions did regulate, they were still not close enough or strong enough to cause any progress. I was pretty frustrated at this point because I knew that if we could not get the contractions to be productive, I would end up in a Cesarean section, since my waters were already broken and I was subjective to infection.

When it Got Real
Around 2pm the nurse came in and upped the Pitocin level for the 3rd time. I started contracting every 2-3 minutes, but only felt the strong (read: painful) contractions about every 3rd or 4th one, which would STILL not be enough to dilate me properly. Finally the nurse upped the Pit for a fourth time around 3pm. Quickly, my contractions began to come every 2-3 minutes, and then 1-2 minutes. The got stronger and stronger and soon I could feel every single one and they were incredibly painful. After about an hour the contractions started coming one on top of the other, I didn't have more than a seconds rest between some of them, and one even peaked for a good three or four minutes straight. I just remember thinking it was HELL, and I couldn't even cry because I couldn't stop focusing long enough to think about it. I found it helpful to remain perfectly quiet and sit up as straight as I could, breathing through each contraction. I had never taken a laboring class, but remembered this technique used in movies. Matt kept watching me and held my hand through some of them, he even came over and gave me a back rub, helping me as much as possible. I could tell he felt helpless, but I felt incredibly supported and loved by his concern.

Making the Call
I chose to wait as long as possible to receive an epidural. I knew that I would most likely receive it at some point, but I felt that I needed to feel some real pain to make this experience real. Besides, I believe that without some pain and suffering, good things cannot come to us. I ended up laboring for three hours in constant pain before throwing the towel in. Looking back, I do not think I could have possibly lasted another five minutes without the memory of the experience turning really nasty on me. At 6pm I made the call. Receiving the epidural was not fun. It seemed to me that the doctor performed the epidural, which involved a few rough pokes, lots of nerve tingling and lingering pain, without explaining to me what he was doing to my spine, and what I could expect. Matt assured me that he was in fact explaining to me what he was doing, but he was talking so quietly, I never heard him. Finally the epi was in. My right side numbed right away, my left size never completely numbed and it took about 20 minutes to stop feeling the contractions in my lower right pelvis, but finally I was completely comfortable and couldn't feel a thing. At this point the nurse announced that I was a solid 7 cm. After what I had just gone through, I couldn't believe I still had 3 inches left.

Heaven after the Epidural
I was completely exhausted after the epidural kicked in. I shut all the lights and TV off. Matt settled into a movie and we didn't speak. After about an hour or so, the nurse came in and checked me, announcing I was a nine. I hadn't been able to sleep, but was in a deep state of rest and relaxation. It was so peaceful and wonderful. Soon after they told me it was time to push. We did a few practice pushes and then they told me to stop until the doctor could arrive. I pushed for a total of 30-35 minutes. The biggest difference from Brianna's delivery is that I focused my pushing properly and didn't break every blood vessel in my face. I also did not feel so drugged that I barely knew where I was. I was completely alert and excited. Matt was on my left side, holding my hand.

He has arrived!
My contractions started spacing out, so I had to pay close attention and use the ones I could feel to the fullest extent. I pushed a few more times and his head was out. The first thing the doctor said was.. "This is not a small baby"... The nurses kept talking about his cheeks, The whole room seemed to be frozen in awe as this "huge" baby came into the world at 8:00pm sharp. A few pushes later and he was completely out. He coughed first, then let out a little cry. Matt cut the umbilical cord and they carried him to the warmer. I could hear the nurses remarking about how big he was. They kept making guesses on his weight. The number they landed one was 9 and a half pounds. When they finally weighed him and he was 10 pounds 11 oz (22 inches long), everyone was shocked.

Big Baby
The doctor asked me if I had gestational diabetes (I got this a LOT over the next couple hours and days), which I replied "no". My GD tests actually came out perfect. I did not even need to take the three-hour test like I did with Bri! I remember him making the comment that if they had known he was this big, they would have never let me go this far before inducing. The most common comment I received after announcing his weight to people, was "Wow, that's a big baby!", and the second most common was "Are you okay?" or something to that effect. Both of these annoyed me to no extent! Yes he is dense, but if you meet him in person he is actually quite small- as a newborn should be! And no.. I am not wrecked after delivering him, so stop looking at me like I just performed an amazing feat. lol!
My Recovery
Although they gave Ben to me first, I couldnt get a good grip on him and was afraid I was going to drop him. I ended up handing him off to Matt who got to bond with him right away. Everything about the whole postpartum process with this baby has been easier thus far. Far less pain, which has been wonderful! I did almost pass out in the bathroom (again) like after my first delivery, but I expected to be light headed, (especially after not eating all day!) and accepted lots of help. I only needed a few minutes to get my wits about me before I could stand up again.

Ben's First Activity
Thankfully, I made it back to the bed without blacking out and then proceeded to demand that the nurse foot printing Ben get his hand prints too, which are apparently incredibly hard to get. They did the best they could, and poor Matt ran around trying to fulfill my wishes the best he could without irritatating the nurses. I ended up getting two very light upside-down hand prints on the baby book (yay!) but did not get any for the picture frame that  I wanted. I eventually conceded to be happy with the baby book prints and let them move on. Poor Ben had ink all over him and kept trying to put it in his mouth because of my insistence (sorry baby!) Through all of this he was very alert and had his eyes wide open. He did not cry unless he was getting poked, and sometimes not even then! He seemed very content.


Moved to Postpartum Wing
By 10pm we were moved to our postpartum room and working on getting settled in. My mom and sister stopped by for a little bit, and there was still a lot of nurse activity around myself and the baby. The biggest issue was making sure Ben was getting plenty of calories before we could send him to the nursery. Matt was so pooped he ended up falling asleep about 12:30am, and after feeding Ben one last time, I sent him off to the nursery and fell asleep myself around 1:45am. At 3:15am the nurse woke me up to feed him, which I attempted but Ben was not interested in eating. He just wanted to sleep! They did not bring him in again until 5:00am when he hungrily ate for about half an hour. I did not wake up again until 7:30am when I got up, took a shower and put myself together before the nurse brought him in for breakfast at 8:30am. Matt got a solid eight hours of sleep and minus a few short hours of interruption, I got at least seven! I was so happy that I was not constantly woken up for vital signs and did not hesitate to share this with the hospital staff at the end of our stay.

Happy Ending Beginnings
Of course our story does not end there, but as birth stories go, I am very happy with Ben's. My labor was only about 11 hours (same as with Bri!), the birth and delivery was quick and uneventful and we are now the proud parents of a beautiful, very happy little boy! My favorite thing is watching my big manly husband melting over his sweet baby. :)

Ben at 10 days old